Maturity | The World’s Expectations vs True Growth
Life. The shiftless buzz of events that keeps our wheels spinning.
Joyful glimpses sliding into monotony and stillness, strangled by busy times all over again.
Happy moments seem to pass the fastest, the best times too surreal to enjoy, the good times waving us goodbye just when we’ve realized their importance.
All the while our reflections are changing. Growing more beautiful or less, more delightful or harder to behold. Wizening or becoming more wise, heightening or touching the sky in mental maturity — always changing in a way that either helps or hurts.
Children’s books teach us that our growth expands like a progressive line, ever maturing to become better than the last version of ourselves.
Being 17 and barely 5’, I’ll be the first to wish that is true. But it is not.
I’ve seen people with hearts on fire for their beliefs, suddenly stifled by a busy (or painfully silent) time. People build up towers of the Kingdom and try to tear them down when the evil one plants seeds of doubt. Loss affects people and so does gain — the more knowledge, the less some really know who they are.
In a world that loads our senses with color and sound, it is hard and ever harder to distinguish truth from lies with minds that find the truth ugly and lies appealing. We have inclinations, desires, and knowledge all which control us —but maybe none so much as expectations. Expectations say a lot about who we are and who we will be. They say what we want to be — which has a greater impact than perhaps many people think. Pure or tainted, expectations have a lot to say about what we find important. Take a look at current expectations of our society.
Social status is a (somewhat) prevailing virtue. Digital status, rather. You are expected to have a certain standing in society uniquely depending on who you are — what better way to show what you expect people to think of you than with images and words posted unaccountably online?
Success. Careers — both come as expectations in themselves, personal goals we set for a beautiful end scenario. In America we are the most career-driven country — both statistically and intrinsically in pretty much every foriegn view of our values. Our expectations are high, our value on the time and money we pour into our success great.
Education is a general topic that encompasses a whole lot of expectation. At this point, the quality of education has gone down as much as the need has risen, college campuses marketing an exciting experience and invigorating campus life rather than good classes to take. They flaunt an ideology, a time-controlling lifestyle rather than knowledge to put behind our actions.
But our actions. Are they even valued anymore? Does anyone follow through when it comes to success and look for actions rather than just words? Who is to say we need to put down our cardboard signs and keyboards and actually do something?
Emails are more efficient than spoken words, face to face. Replies to hold people over until it is too late to take action will suffice. Subjective human knowledge will carry us on until the real world strikes; fun experiences will give us strength, prepare us for the hard ones to come. Said no one.
You know what no one also said? Nothing. Even the most shy have become willing to speak — everyone wants to share their opinions whether their actions line up with them or not. In a world where everyone wants to have their views outlined and posted on the internet (yes, I am a hypocrite), very few know when it is the right time to say words and the right time to go live them. Pretty soon it’s easy to get lost in a tangle of opinions, so many signs that we can’t see the road we are on.
In this life so many things are confusing — it is hard to find our way and establish true values. The Bible is the ultimate source of our answers but even then questions arise that seem to have no answer, twisted up by the Devil to trip us at any stage of life. The love for Christ in college can turn to a love for money almost undetectably. Commitment to Him in our family can turn to a passive means of self-gratification — so it can with any endeavor or career.
For young people it is obvious that in this life we will have to keep our guard up and question everything if we want to continue to grow — as we grow old it is still harder because many slacken their guard in a restless desire for some form of simplicity, letting truth bleed into lies. Yes, we don’t always keep growing from a good start. Maturity finds some late, some early, some never at all — and no season of growth promises that the new limbs on our trees will stay.
It’s a silly phenomenon that is outlined in many “coming of age,” stories. A character faces a glaring truth, a climactic turning point that in the end leads to their maturity. Even if in their maturity they are a less pleasurable and kind person. We analyze these books and movies in classrooms, contrasting the innocence and naivety in chapter one with the ending on the other side of experience or knowledge. Then the book is closed. The appropriate time for a blockbuster movie has elapsed. What happens to the character after we don’t know — and almost just as importantly as the meaning of the story, the meaning of the silence after it is allowed to speak. We’re left to wonder if the character held on to this newfound wisdom — if it continued to mature or torcher them for the rest of their life.
The author of Hebrews was unknown but it is clear that he understood the continuous, step by step process of maturity. He writes, “Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles. And let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us, fixing our eyes on Jesus, the pioneer and perfecter of faith...” (Hebrews 12:1-2a, NIV).
Desires will strive to control us; expectations will tug us in either direction (both the world’s standards, our family’s, our schools, our own, etc.). But what we truly desire is what we will choose to run after — what awaits at the finish line which we have deemed a worthy reward is what we will become like. Some people take our hand along the way and help us run, grow in maturity as we go. Some slow us down. Make us turn around and look back at something that was never good for us.
In the end, the object of our growth, the sun that we reach our branches toward will determine who we are and our longing determine how fast we grow. So what are you growing toward?
